如果你必须离开 if you must leave

 

我明白了，如果你必须离开一个你曾经生活过、深爱过的地方，离开这里，除了慢慢地离开，其他任何方式都要离开，用你能用最快的方式离开。永远不要回头，永远不要相信你记忆中的一个时刻是更好的时刻，因为它已经死了。过去的岁月似乎是安全的，被征服的，而未来生活在云层中，从远处看是可怕的。当你进入云层时，云层就会散去。我已经学会了这一点，但和所有人一样，我学得晚了。~Beryl Markham，《夜色西去》

《夜行西行》是贝丽尔·马卡姆 1942 年出版的一本回忆录，记录了她 20 世纪初在肯尼亚（当时的英属东非）长大的经历，后来她在那里成为了一名赛马教练和丛林飞行员。这本书被认为是户外文学的经典之作，出版后不久就被收录到美国武装部队版书籍中。[1] 2004 年，《国家地理探险》杂志将其列为 100 本最佳探险书籍第 8 名。[2]

I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance. The cloud clears as you enter it. I have learned this, but like everyone, I learned it late. ~Beryl Markham , West with the Night 

West with the Night is a 1942 memoir by Beryl Markham, chronicling her experiences growing up in Kenya (then British East Africa) in the early 1900s, leading to celebrated careers as a racehorse trainer and bush pilot there. It is considered a classic of outdoor literature and was included in the United States' Armed Services Editions shortly after its publication.[1] In 2004, National Geographic Adventure ranked it number 8 in its list of the 100 best adventure books.[2]

Book:  https://amzn.to/3AiBxks

必须冒着心碎的风险 must risk your heart

 

生活会击垮你。没有人能保护你免受这种伤害，孤独也不能，因为孤独也会用它的渴望击垮你。你必须去爱。你必须去感受。这就是你来到这个世界上的原因。你必须冒着心碎的风险。你来到这里就是为了被吞噬。当你被击垮、被背叛、被抛弃、被伤害或死亡离你太近时，让自己坐在一棵苹果树旁，听着苹果在你周围成堆地掉落，浪费它们的甜味。告诉自己，你已经尝了尽可能多的苹果。~路易斯·厄德里奇 

（书：《彩绘鼓》

 https://amzn.to/47ojLIx）Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and being alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You have to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes too near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself that you tasted as many as you could. ~Louise Erdrich 

(Book: The Painted Drum https://amzn.to/47ojLIx)

永在我心没有离开 you have never left me

 “对于活着的人，我已离去，

对于悲伤的人，我永不回头，

对于愤怒的人，我被欺骗了，

但对于快乐的人，我很平静，

而对于信主的人，我从未离开。

我不能说话，但我可以倾听。

我看不见，但我可以听见。

所以，当你站在岸边凝视美丽的大海时，

当你看着一朵花，欣赏它的朴素时，

请记住我。

把我记在心里：

你的思想，你的记忆，

我们相爱的时光，

我们哭泣的时光，

我们争执的时光，

我们欢笑的时光。

因为如果你总是想着我，我就永远不会离开。”

~玛格丽特·米德

“To the living, I am gone,

To the sorrowful, I will never return,

To the angry, I was cheated,

But to the happy, I am at peace,

And to the faithful, I have never left.

I cannot speak, but I can listen.

I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.

So as you stand upon a shore gazing at a beautiful sea,

As you look upon a flower and admire its simplicity,

Remember me.

Remember me in your heart:

Your thoughts, and your memories,

Of the times we loved,

The times we cried,

The times we fought,

The times we laughed.

For if you always think of me, I will never have gone.”

20240509

~Margaret Mead

2024 how not to grieve over a devastating tearing asunder and loss of a beloved?

 

In the utmost sorrow and chaos inside out, spirit, soul and body, how does one stay sane and live on at least from day to day, eating and sleeping, halting the mind and the heart from a repeated constant reprise? It was impossible. Without God's grace and mercy and the immense working of the Holy Spirit, I could not have lived through the grief. I am still in its process and a work-in-process of a survivor of grief. 

A day before the fateful departure, at my urgent call, a closed relative of mine who loves her too drove seven hours to see us. She stood by the bedside and prayed in tongue until she heard from the Lord and saw vision. After that I walked her to the gate. I didn't want to hear what she had to say from the Lord. Prior to that she already told me her prompting from the Lord the moment I called her. It was the first time she knew of the condition. This was the verse she received for me:

Ecclesiastes 3 Everything Has Its Time

1 To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven:

2 A time to be born,

And a time to die;

A time to plant,

And a time to pluck what is planted;

3 A time to kill,

And a time to heal;

A time to break down,

And a time to build up;

4 A time to weep,

And a time to laugh;

A time to mourn,

And a time to dance;

However, I needed to hear and know what the Lord had again spoken and revealed for me. She told me at the gate what she received: a first vision of the beloved standing on a line between two groups on each side of the line. On one side was a group of those who have gone to heaven (her mom, brethren whom she had helped etc.) On another side a group of all those who wants her remain on earth to continue to help them. Both sides were crying out. 

The Lord said: "She can choose either way."

a second vision: a beautiful garden full of lovely sunshine and flowers.

a third vision:  of the beloved walking by herself and only her back view was shown. She was already walking real far along a calm and peaceful road. 

The above vision and hearing from the Lord confirmed what this narrator received earlier on one day after asking the Lord what next. "She can live as long as she wants to."

She did not tell anyone her choice. No one can assume anything. Only the Lord sees our hearts and knows. For a believers who follow the Lord and walks with Jesus closely, we have an example in the apostle Paul. 

Romans 14:7-8

7 For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.

2024-01-17