2024 how not to grieve over a devastating tearing asunder and loss of a beloved?

 In the utmost sorrow and chaos inside out, spirit, soul and body, how does one stay sane and live on at least from day to day, eating and sleeping, halting the mind and the heart from a repeated constant reprise? It was impossible. Without God's grace and mercy and the immense working of the Holy Spirit, I could not have lived through the grief. I am still in its process and a work-in-process of a survivor of grief. 

A day before the fateful departure, at my urgent call, a closed relative of mine who loves her too drove seven hours to see us. She stood by the bedside and prayed in tongue until she heard from the Lord and saw vision. After that I walked her to the gate. I didn't want to hear what she had to say from the Lord. Prior to that she already told me her prompting from the Lord the moment I called her. It was the first time she knew of the condition. This was the verse she received for me:

Ecclesiastes 3 Everything Has Its Time

1 To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven:

2 A time to be born,

And a time to die;

A time to plant,

And a time to pluck what is planted;

3 A time to kill,

And a time to heal;

A time to break down,

And a time to build up;

4 A time to weep,

And a time to laugh;

A time to mourn,

And a time to dance;

However, I needed to hear and know what the Lord had again spoken and revealed for me. She told me at the gate what she received: a first vision of the beloved standing on a line between two groups on each side of the line. On one side was a group of those who have gone to heaven (her mom, brethren whom she had helped etc.) On another side a group of all those who wants her remain on earth to continue to help them. Both sides were crying out. 

The Lord said: "She can choose either way."

a second vision: a beautiful garden full of lovely sunshine and flowers.

a third vision:  of the beloved walking by herself and only her back view was shown. She was already walking real far along a calm and peaceful road. 

The above vision and hearing from the Lord confirmed what this narrator received earlier on one day after asking the Lord what next. "She can live as long as she wants to."

She did not tell anyone her choice. No one can assume anything. Only the Lord sees our hearts and knows. For a believers who follow the Lord and walks with Jesus closely, we have an example in the apostle Paul. 

Romans 14:7-8

7 For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.

2024-01-17

2024 Jan 17 how to draw a line between the spiritual and the physical?

2024 JAN 17 PROLOGUE: I assumed that life would be all sunshine and blue sky. That was to be the story of my life. And that would always be. Pure assumption. It did not happen. My earth world came crashing down over a decade ago. I had to part with a partner (of twenty years). I thought we could still remain best forever friend for the rest of our lives, mine at least, as I am 15 years her senior. It turned out to be a wistful thinking on my part. The truth caught up in the last two years. And the curtain closed forever on earth for our “partnership-friendship”. She left with Jesus on 2023-12-26 5am. 

Grief: I am not prepared and I cannot accept. I cannot imagine anyone prepared for grief. Human are not meant to grieve. How can anyone know grief until it hits like an avalanche? 

JANUARY 15, 2024 HELPER10 WORDS OF THOUGHTS AND SPIRIT EDIT "CROSSING OVER TO 2024"

crossing over to 2024

A LIFE AND A DEATH

A death in 2023 made it the most difficult year to cross. All words had fled. All colors faded before their time. Towards the end of December the world died. A heart was torn into two and the torn half left so suddenly that there was no time to weep goodbye. In fact 2023 was the impossible year to cross.

And today is the 21st day after that 5am fateful morning. What is 21 days compared to the 11,315 days of being together? Nothing.

And yet, 21 days mean that 1,814,400 seconds had ticked through. How did that happen? There is no explanation except for the supernatural grace (unmerited favor) and mercy of God, Who enables every dawn’s waking at 3am finding oneself in the midst of the living and is still a living being. With God, all things are possible.

The fact is: regardless of questions like, what is the good of being left behind in the land of the living when all its meaning seems to have departed, being alive on earth is a fact to live with day by day over which one is given a responsibility. A believer of God, the Creator and Origin of life, cannot choose to stay or leave unless God has given that option.

So the next question is, what shall I do for the rest of my life on earth, in particular, 2024? The reluctant earth man (in truth a spiritual man) asks God. What next?

Waiting is not possible when there is no certainty of an answer. What if the answer is broadcasted and I miss tuning to the right frequency? What if it comes in a still small voice and the wind that weeps through the leaves is too loud for me to differentiate and discern? What if it comes in a dream and I forget the moment I wake? What if I miss the 3-5am rendezvous on the particular day it comes? There are many “what ifs”. Yet I wait.

At one time one could imagine that time was a bird of no particular consequence gliding slowly passing by my window as I chanced to look outside through a veil dimly. Looking back the last decade I now hear the thundering sound of urgency for redeeming time.

A summary of a decade (of somewhat oblivion on the part of this blogger): 2012 prelude: a decision was made to each pursue a called direction and the way therein. 2013: A harsh tearing asunder legalistic way. 2014: Finally heeded (after three prophetic utterances) and left reluctantly for a strange land in a strange writing mission. 2015: Continued writing with travel to new land. 2016: the same with variation. 2017-2018 Heeded to the call to study academically about God. 2019-2020 making it to full time study on the snow mountain city above the clouds. 2021: returned to a new land and solitude. 2022: Reconciliation and restoration.  2023: Full restoration towards the end. And then an earth life departed just a few days before the year 2023 departed. And seemingly chaos started afresh when crossing over to 2024…

A devastating regret (for me in hind sight): Choosing a passive andante in earth life, spiritually oblivious that the other half was encountering a sudden onslaught by violent turbulent storm apparently too severe for her delicate frame. “You might not listen, or you could react immediately without thinking through, and not asking the Holy Spirit for direction. As for me, I’d rather stay in the supernatural peace of Jesus and follow His guidance step by step.” She said this to me, too late (?) or perhaps I never really listened until then.

How to describe someone who is like the psalmist in Psalm 1 (her all time favorite to the end), so firmly, deeply grounded and rooted (planted by God) by the stream of living water, walking so close to the Lord that beautiful flowers bloomed, lovely fruits birthed so naturally from her in all seasons, and healing leaves remaining lush and green, and forever whole and young in spirit, soul and body?

2024-01-17

Journey to see God: God's Accounting -obedience counts

Romans 6

English Standard Version (ESV)

Dead to Sin, Alive to God

6 What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? ² By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? ³ Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? ⁴ We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.

⁵ For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. ⁶ We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. ⁷ For one who has died has been set free from sin. ⁸ Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. ⁹ We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. ¹⁰ For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. ¹¹ So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.
¹² Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions.¹³ Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, butpresent yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. ¹⁴ For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.

Slaves to Righteousness

¹⁵ What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! ¹⁶ Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? ¹⁷ But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, ¹⁸ and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness. ¹⁹ I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations. For just as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification.

²⁰ For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. ²¹ But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. ²² But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life. ²³ For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

A HEAD STONE FOR MY YOUNGER BROTHER

A HEADSTONE

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ALWAYS IN OUR HEARTS

  常在我们心中

my younger brother

我的弟弟

The day he went to be with the Lord: 3rd March 2012

Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
Who forgives all my iniquities,
Who heals all my diseases,
Who redeems my life from destruction,
Who crowns me with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
Who satisfies my mouth with good things,
So that my youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

( Psalm 103:1-5 )

我 的 心 哪 ， 你 要 称 颂 耶 和 华 ！ 凡 在 我 里 面 的 ，

也 要 称 颂 祂 的 圣 名 ！

我 的 心 哪 ， 你 要 称 颂 耶 和 华 ！

不 可 忘 记 祂 的 一 切 恩 惠 ！

祂 赦 免 我 的 一 切 罪 孽 ，

医 治 我 的 一 切 疾 病 。

祂 救 赎 我 的 命 脱 离 死 亡 ，

以 仁 爱 和 慈 悲 为 我 的 冠 冕 。

祂 用 美 物 使 我 所 愿 的 得 以 知 足 ，

以 致 我 如 鹰 返 老 还 童 。

（ 大 卫 的 诗 - 诗篇103:1-5 )

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The watchman’s compilation of Bible verses on “tears”. May all who mourn be deeply comforted.

COMFORTING WORDS FOR THOSE WHO SOW IN TEARS FOR THE LORD JESUS

Psalm 126:5
Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy.
Psalm 126:4-6 (in Context) Psalm 126 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations
Isaiah 25:8
he will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove his people’s disgrace from all the earth. The LORD has spoken.
Isaiah 25:7-9 (in Context) Isaiah 25 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations
Jeremiah 31:16
This is what the LORD says: “Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded,” declares the LORD. “They will return from the land of the enemy.
Jeremiah 31:15-17 (in Context) Jeremiah 31 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations
Psalm 126:5
Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy.
Psalm 126:4-6 (in Context) Psalm 126 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations

HOW AN INTERCESSOR CRIES FOR THE PEOPLE OF GOD

Job 16:20 My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; Job 16:19-21 (in Context) Job 16 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations
Psalm 119:136 Streams of tears flow from my eyes, for your law is not obeyed. Psalm 119:135-137 (in Context) Psalm 119 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations
Jeremiah 9:1
Oh, that my head were a spring of water and my eyes a fountain of tears! I would weep day and night for the slain of my people.
Jeremiah 9:1-3 (in Context) Jeremiah 9 (Whole Chapter) Other TranslationsJeremiah 9:18
Let them come quickly and wail over us till our eyes overflow with tears and water streams from our eyelids.
Jeremiah 9:17-19 (in Context) Jeremiah 9 (Whole Chapter) Other TranslationsJeremiah 13:17
If you do not listen, I will weep in secret because of your pride; my eyes will weep bitterly, overflowing with tears, because the LORD’s flock will be taken captive.
Jeremiah 13:16-18 (in Context) Jeremiah 13 (Whole Chapter) Other TranslationsJeremiah 14:17
“Speak this word to them: “‘Let my eyes overflow with tears night and day without ceasing; for the Virgin Daughter, my people, has suffered a grievous wound, a crushing blow.
Jeremiah 14:16-18 (in Context) Jeremiah 14 (Whole Chapter) Other TranslationsJeremiah 31:16
This is what the LORD says: “Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded,” declares the LORD. “They will return from the land of the enemy.
Jeremiah 31:15-17 (in Context) Jeremiah 31 (Whole Chapter) Other TranslationsJeremiah 50:4
“In those days, at that time,” declares the LORD, “the people of Israel and the people of Judah together will go in tears to seek the LORD their God.
Jeremiah 50:3-5 (in Context) Jeremiah 50 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations
Lamentations 2:18
The hearts of the people cry out to the Lord. You walls of Daughter Zion, let your tears flow like a river day and night; give yourself no relief, your eyes no rest.
Lamentations 2:17-19 (in Context) Lamentations 2 (Whole Chapter) Other TranslationsLamentations 3:48
Streams of tears flow from my eyes because my people are destroyed.
Lamentations 3:47-49 (in Context) Lamentations 3 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations

THE LORD DETESTS THESE TEARS


Malachi 2:13-14 Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.
Malachi 2:12-14 (in Context) Malachi 2 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations

THE LORD APPRECIATES AND GIVES AWARD TO THESE TEARS


Luke 7:38
As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.
Luke 7:37-39 (in Context) Luke 7 (Whole Chapter) Other TranslationsLuke 7:44
Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.
Luke 7:43-45 (in Context) Luke 7 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations

THE LORD RECORDS TEARS THAT ARE SHED FOR HIM (TEARS SHED BY THOSE AFTER JESUS' HEART)


Psalm 56:8 Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll — are they not in your record? Psalm 56:7-9 (in Context) Psalm 56 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations
Acts 20:19
I served the Lord with great humility and with tears and in the midst of severe testing by the plots of my Jewish opponents.
Acts 20:18-20 (in Context) Acts 20 (Whole Chapter) Other TranslationsActs 20:31
So be on your guard! Remember that for three years I never stopped warning each of you night and day with tears.
Acts 20:30-32 (in Context) Acts 20 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations2 Corinthians 2:4
For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you.
2 Corinthians 2:3-5 (in Context) 2 Corinthians 2 (Whole Chapter) Other TranslationsPhilippians 3:18
For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ.
Philippians 3:17-19 (in Context) Philippians 3 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations2 Timothy 1:4
Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy.
2 Timothy 1:3-5 (in Context) 2 Timothy 1 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations

NO MORE TEAR AT LAST!

Revelation 7:17 For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; ‘he will lead them to springs of living water.’ ‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.’ ” Revelation 7:16-17 (in Context) Revelation 7 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations

Revelation 21:4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:3-5 (in Context) Revelation 21 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations

Final Journey in the Holy Spirit: A prodigal Son Returned

Watchman’s Adventure: One night journey from Lamentations to Revelation!

Reblogged from AAA Jack's blog (A Watchman on your walls):

After midnight, while in a hotel room, the watchman could not sleep so he got up and read the Bible. He was led to read the following passages. It was like he was led through the whole salvation plan. He started from Lamentations wherein the poet prophet mourned the sad state of his nation and cried to God for help as he still had hope in the Lord’s mercy and grace (undeserved favor). Then he was led to read Mark on the full passage towards the end of Jesus’ ministry on earth: the humiliation He went …

The watchman never realized that this blog would come to the forefront of his memory and would be just the right message today. During the past few days he went from one chamber of his life into another chamber. A brother passed on to be with the Lord. After an absence of over fifty years, the brother came back and now he left for eternity after just fifteen months of reunion. During the short and last phase of his life he reconciled with the Father in heaven, his own siblings and their children. He even gained a big family of brethren in a farm home living his last journey on earth before the Lord, reading and meditating the word of God day and night, learning to worship the Lord in Spirit and in Truth. Miraculously, his gift in cooking (which had previously been totally robbed and destroyed by the devil through alcohol intoxication) was restored to him. He became a well respected and honored elderly in the home of old and young, men and women. Even more stunning to all who knew him before, from a man who could hardly read a few words, he had learned to read and write well by reading the Bible (completing the whole New Testament and some parts of Old Testament) and copying notes. He even memorized Key Verses. The blood of the Lamb of God (Jesus) had washed away his sins, and the word of God had cleansed and transformed him in and out. In addition to ridding off all his addictive habits, his common burst of anger was healed. A big group of brethren in Christ led the wake service for him and many shed tears for him (and for themselves when they recalled the journey they all went through). One message is clear: the Father in heaven does not give up on His sons.
On the last day of his life on earth he led worship and Bible reading. He passed away peacefully while resting after the daily morning worship service on 3rd March 2012. He was 59 years and ten months old. He did not suffer any major illness in the home. He just had his medical check up a month ago and was given clean bill of health. He was completely divinely healed and well. Three days previously he re-dedicated his life to the Lord for His use, kneeling down and the pastor of the home blessed him. He finished the race on earth well after a life of being a prodigal son. The Father in heaven accepted him into His bosom.
During the worship he picked his favorite eight worship songs. According to his brethren in the home all were positive Kingdom of God songs, praising God and focusing on God’s greatness and glory. The watchman believed that he had joined the heavenly choir and happily singing and worshiping the Almighty God day and night now…
A favorite verse and song of the late brother of the watchman is from Job:

Job 42:5 (NKJV)

⁵ “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear,
But now my eye sees You. “
(In a recent prayer with his class, the watchman suddenly prayed they would be like Enoch, walking with the Lord, and one day the Lord would decide to take them to His home, as they were nearer to His home than to their own homes on earth! )
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Verse of the Day

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”