CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: A MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH IN THE SPIRIT!

Today Jack made a confession. “Head knowledge of the Bible was supreme to me. But, how wrong I had been.” “I had ignored the Holy Spirit completely and that means not knowing God the Spirit.” “My work in the church system was self and other humans-oriented and not God-focused. What worth were they? Not worth a penny. Not in God’s eyes.”

Having come to this conclusion, he made a significant resolution, all leaning to the Holy Spirit, in his application notes.
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Journal Day 21: God wants us to ask, seek and knock
When I read Matthew 7:7, I realized that God indeed likes us to ask, seek and knock. The verse goes as follows:
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”

In the preceding verse (7:6) to this, Jesus was telling His disciples not to give precious things to those who do not appreciate. Then He continued with this verse which clearly tells us how much He loves to give to those who desire to receive from Him!

All we need to do is ask. If we do not know what to ask for, seek guidance from the Holy Spirit. If we do not know how to connect to the Holy Spirit, knock on the Bible door!

It has taken me a long time to reach this far. I have reached the age when I could no longer chauffer young people around or take active participation in any youth camps. As my heart and its enthusiasm are not there, I cannot contribute meaningfully in this field.

In younger days when I physically actively served the Lord in a church system, I did not ask, seek or knock much on God’s door. I trusted my mind (knowledge and talent) more than anything else. I believed in what the church taught and I read a lot of reference books and accepted as truth what other mortals have written/spoken. I obeyed to the church system and deliberately shunned away from all matters of the Spirit.

Head knowledge of the Bible was supreme to me. But, how wrong I had been and how I had walked the wilderness path like the Israelites who did not know God in the Spirit, although they were chosen to be God’s people and were already in an organized religion.

I had ignored the Holy Spirit completely and that means not knowing God the Spirit. It also means that I had not really understood most, if not all, the Bible which I had read and re-read many times over the years. Worst of all, it means I did not really understand what Jesus taught about eternal life (which came through knowing God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit).

My work in the church system was self and other humans-oriented and not God-focused. What worth were they? Not worth a penny. Not in God’s eyes. Believe me, just read what Jesus said to the Ephesians’ Church. The Ephesians Christians were good at man-focus works, doing a lot of good labors. But Jesus reprimanded them for their not doing for the love of God. In fact they had lost their first love (of God) and still continued to do well in man’s eyes! Of course the Ephesians found this shocking. They thought they loved God. But did they? How deceptive works and results of apparent success can be.

Thus, thinking that we love God and doing a lot of works under the church system does not necessarily reflect the truth. Loving God requires knowing God (and His heart) personally. The church system does not necessarily reflect God’s heart. Many have confused these two separate entities and wandered into spiritual wilderness.
In Revelation 2:5, Jesus warned that He would remove the lamp stand from the church system if they do not repent and do the first works (let God/the Holy Spirit work into them). Without light the church system would be the blind leading the blind. How terrible!

How do we know God? God is Spirit. We can only know God through the spirit. Jesus promised in Luke 11:13, “how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!” Yes, ask. This is the way to proceed forward.
My application: This morning I got up early and read psalms 11-20. Psalm 16 is a real comfort! I shall continue to ask, seek and knock on God’s door in the spirit, through reading and meditating on His words and praying in my spirit. Forget about serving Him unless I am clear it is a call in the spirit. I am learning to read the words to discern what the Holy Spirit is saying to my spirit.

“Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will rest in hope.” (Ps. 16:9)

AAA Jack
15 March 2009 (pm)

P/s: By faith, based on the teaching at the Prayer House, I have recently learned to read chunks of the Bible in one sitting daily. Just read them. The words come alive. They speak and work wonders into me. Trust Jesus. He said His words are spirit. They are life.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: BE ALIGNED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT

The last thing that Jack wanted was to be a judge. He never wanted to umpire anything. This does not mean he does not judge people. Being judgmental and critical of others was part of his character and professional training. He now found that he had to imagine himself being judged too. He did not like being judged. Jesus said, you choose. Judge not and you will not be judged. There was really no choice, he admitted. Ether he chose to follow Jesus or he chose to go the opposite way and be judged! He was learning fast through being obedient to the Holy Spirit. Judge not, reflects God’s heart. Who is he to judge if God says not to judge?
Jack is now learning to apply what the Holy Spirit has been teaching him in his daily living.



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Journal Day 20: Only God can decide the acceptability of man.
Matthew 7:1-2 “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.”

This requirement is cross referred to two seemingly contradictory passages. In Romans 14, we are asked not to judge our brothers in Christ (fellow Christians). The Apostle Paul used a number of examples to illustrate this requirement. Eating/not eating specific foodstuff, the behavior of another (including other’s servant/worker), observing a holiday, fasting etc. whether they impress man or not, external shows of piousness in physical living style, do not necessarily impress God. Besides, when one is preoccupied with finding fault with others he would not have time to rectify his own mistakes, and mend his own way, thereby resulting in a worse off scenario when the chips are down. (Often we project our own problems and mess onto others!)

However, God has received the weakest as he is. God is able to make the weakest stand before Him. Why? God is sovereign over all creations. He calls the shots. He wants us to accept His sovereignty.

In short, as Paul said, we live to the Lord; we die to the Lord, we are the Lord’s.
In 1 Corinthians 5, Paul has shown his authority over the church members in Corinth. He stipulated a severe sentence on an erring and unrepentant member. He stated his reason, that is, he did not want the others to be polluted morally and socially. Here Paul is exercising the delegated authority entrusted to him. Paul later forgave that member and urged the church to welcome him back to their fold when that man repented. Paul is clear about God’s concern, that is, the matter of the heart. Repentance means a change of heart. Paul has demonstrated that in godly justice there is mercy and forgiveness, reflecting God’s heart.

My application: Read the Bible with the goal to know God and to change myself to be more aligned with the spirit. Stop thinking that the verses refer to so and so (thereby judging others). Start thinking that the verses apply to me. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to me the plank/telephone pole in my eyes. Also be comforted that God loves me and has accepted me through His Son Jesus Who has died for me. Let God decide my standing. He calls the shots for my life.

AAA Jack
March 15, 2009

CHAPTER SIXTEEN: THE INNER EYE

It had been a month since Jack started this quest of seeking God. He had learned to look at things from an inner eye - spiritual perspective. He realized that God is asking him, “Are you controlled by the spiritual realm or the physical realm?” So far he had done two important things: seek God through worship and prayers, and listen to God through reading the words of God and meditating. Both endeavors had produced results.

The following is his Journal record.
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Journal Day 19: No One Can Serve Two Masters. Who is in control? The Physical or the spiritual?

Further to what I found out yesterday, that Jesus is more concerned with where I place my heart, on earth/the worldly system or on heaven/the godly system, I realized that Jesus is also concerned with what I put in my heart.

The things of the world are all subject to the natural law of aging, decay, corruption, depreciation of worth and usefulness, loss of attraction…etc. Even when the things (or even your wife, your husband, your best friend, your best pastor or other human support etc.) are new and fresh and interesting and useful, they are subject to uncertainties like theft, accident, destruction, sudden losses, and are here today and gone tomorrow. The circumstances, the devil, man-made errors or even a simple swing of mood could cause the losses overnight.

The only safe place is heaven. The safe treasure is Jesus. No natural disaster. No man-made mishaps. No depreciation of value. No losses. The treasure is guaranteed by God. Heaven is not subject to the world’s system. No wonder God keeps telling us to be separate. Come out.

Matthew 6:22-23 “The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad your whole body will be full of darkness.”

Here Jesus wants me to analyze my locus of control. Who or what controls my body? My physical senses? By what is seen, heard, smelled, touched and thought of? If this is the case, then I am subject to the worldly trend of perspective. All that I can see is dictated by the whims and fancies of the world. Someone has pressed the panic button and every body panics. Someone has pressed the commercial button and every body buys. Someone has invented a new toy and everybody plays. Someone has pressed the stress button and everybody is stressed out.

Jesus wants me to see with my inner eye, the eye of the spirit. The spirit sees into the spiritual realm and knows about the truth. The spirit draws wisdom and insight from the Holy Spirit (the Spirit of Christ). Despite the physical darkness outside, the spirit sees the light inside, the Light of God. With His light I can see better and more accurately and form the right decision and make the right move.

Matthew 6:24 “no one can serve two masters…you cannot serve God and mammon.”

This verse gave me headache previously. I thought it meant not to love money or have anything to do with money. On the other hand I have been given the resources and am expected to be a good steward of God so how can I not handle money? Reading this today I saw that it relates to all that Jesus has said in the context. He is asking me, “Are you controlled by the spiritual realm or the physical realm?”

Jesus said that God is Spirit and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth. Jesus also said that eternal life is to know God and Jesus. For this purpose, God has put in me (and every believer of Jesus) the Holy Spirit so that I could relate to the spiritual realm and connect to Him through the spirit.

Matthew 6:25-31 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on.” “Look at the birds of the air…are you not of more value than they?” “Consider the lilies of the field…will God not much more clothe you?” “Therefore do not worry.”

6:27-28 “Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?” “So why do you worry about?”

Do not worry about my physical life. Accept the fact that I cannot control it completely. I am not in complete charge. Stop worrying in vain!

So who is in complete control? The answer here is God. In verse 32, Jesus reminded me that God is the One Who created and sustained life. Surly He knows our needs.
How do we let the Spirit take charge? Jesus has given us the one essential key. “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33) In short, seek first Jesus. How do we seek Jesus?

Jesus said, “It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life.” (John 6:63) Yes, read His words.
Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow.” Jesus thus assured us. The physical body has its limitations. It can only take care of the present moment. It cannot go beyond its present senses. Why waste energy and ruin health? The uncertain future lies in the realm of the spirit.

Yet, future is important to everybody. That explains why everybody worries about the future. It is frightening to think that no one takes charge. On the other hand, as Christian, I believe that God takes charge. I believe in what Jesus has said. I would also like to know as much as my spirit knows.

The Lord says, “Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” (Jeremiah 33:3)

My application: continue to rise early, spend time worshipping God, reading His words, meditating on His words, praying, and waiting in His presence. I am still not good at worshipping God and singing praise songs. I need to practice more. The waiting part needs improvement too. I am too easily distracted. Today I slept late and did not get up early. However, as I drove I sang praise and worship songs, and prayed in tongues (a habit while driving). I managed to read ten psalms aloud at night. I look forward to tomorrow’s early morning session.

AAA Jack
2009-03-14

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: SEEING GOD IN MY HEART

After a spate of seeing God in visions, Jack went back to reading and focusing on the words of God, the Bible. Indeed, the Word of God is life and Spirit.
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Journal Day 18: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven…put your heart in the right place!

Matthew 6: 19-21 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth…but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven…for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Again I am reminded of my heart today. In the past when I read this passage I always thought it meant I needed to donate more money or make less money and spend more time serving in the church etc. Over the years as a Christian, I had indeed tried to comply with this requirement. I enjoyed such activities for a long time. Yes, I enjoyed giving freely, chauffeuring neighborhood children to Sunday school and church camps, forgoing all comforts (washing church toilets, sleeping on hard wooden floor in hot stuffy mosquito infested rooms with no air-conditioning in camps), teaching and training young and old believers, serving God’s people in a number of roles voluntarily.

Yet, however much I thought I gave or served, there was no way I could match the righteousness of the religious Jews in Jesus’ time. So where do I stand in God’s kingdom? What hope do I have serving God even through my best efforts? Not a bit.
Man tends to look and focus at self because it is a survival instinct. It is also because of ignorance. We look at the world which has us at the center. We even look at God that way. For example, previously when I read what Jesus said in the Gospel of Matthew, I thought of God being a God who asked me to do this and do that or not to do a lot of things.

Thank God for changing my perspective. I now realize that Jesus is concerned with the condition of my heart. Yesterday I touched on the issue of debt cancellation. It was not the physical cancellation that Jesus was interested. He was more concerned with the state of my heart. Is it still harboring hurt as a result of loss? Is my heart not being free to trust and love again? Is my heart filled with doubt and anxiety? Is my heart full of worries and heavy burdens? In short, is my heart filled with unbelief?

Today I am again reminded to put my heart in the right place. Anchor my heart on the solid rock of Jesus and His kingdom of heaven!
Again and again Jesus is saying, “Look away from yourself, look at Me!” “Look away from your things, look at My things!”

Indeed, when I start looking at Jesus and the grace (undeserved favor) of God, I realize that the matter of the heart is what counts.
“Christ in us, the hope of glory!”

My application: I am determined to put my heart at the right place. Jesus said, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) By Jesus’ authority, I cast out the workaholic spirit in me!

AAA Jack
2009-03-14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: A CROWN VISION

As Jack waited upon the Lord to receive instructions to pray for the churches, he was led to read Jeremiah 1-3.

The words were picturesque, depicting the deplorable scenes of the churches in the land. God rebuked Israel for two evils: having forsaken God, the true fountain of living water, and hewn themselves cisterns, broken cisterns which could hold no water. Dry religion without the Holy Spirit, no light, cannot see, cannot hear, deafened by their own noises, blinded by worldly vanity in numbers. God had left and the priests did not know. The prophets (preachers) prophesied by false gods and walked after ‘things’ that did not profit. Those who handled the law (of God) did not know the law. God said of these churches: “and you have not obeyed My voice”. A most frightening sin！

It is possible for churches who seek after God to hear God! He also read that God wants repentance with whole heart. God is willing to forgive their backsliding.
As recorded in the following vision, he saw the Lord as the King in all His glory!
On the other hand, Jack was still not able to reconcile what he saw with his concern for his daily living, as evidenced in his following journal on the same day on debt issues.

Vision: Hearing from God- seeing the crowned King

Today I had nothing to ask for but I decided to prostrate on the floor after I completed my Friday morning intercession for the city churches. Then I saw the following pictures:
A little toddler crawled towards the left foot of Jesus and there was a little whit butterfly hovering near by.
Then I saw Jesus wearing a crown (that of a king). I recalled the verses declaring Him as the King.
I do not know what these mean. I must not interpret when I have no guidance from the Lord (His Word). I merely record this for future reference as led by the Spirit. Time will tell if there is anything of significance. However, as written before, these pictures are my way of interacting with the Lord for my personal living and are not prophecies or any words of importance to others.
I find myself hindered by being too preoccupied with the mind and the knowledge accumulated therein. In spiritual matters I am an infant. So this visualization training is my daily “spiritual” exercise. Why do I do this (seemingly unnecessary pastime)? For the one reason that God is Spirit and I need to worship Him in truth and in Spirit. Being spiritual is essential. There is no option for me.

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Journal Day 16-17: and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors
I have now reached the application of the Lord’s Prayer. I am trying to follow this verse, Matthew 6:12 “and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.”
It is obvious how relevant this verse has become in the current financial dilemma. People are being overloaded with the mountain of debt. Every one, every nation cries out for deliverance from the debt bondage! I have not come across any one who does not wish his or her debt to be cancelled or fully paid by someone.
When Jesus said this to His disciples, what did He mean? Was He imposing a condition on them that they must perform before God gives His pardon? Who can pay for our debt of sins? Not us. The good news is Jesus has paid in full on the cross when He died for us.
Reading the cross reference to this verse, in Mathew 18:21-35, the meaning became clearer. The disciple Peter came and asked Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother (other followers of Jesus). Jesus stipulated an impossible number of times (70x7 times) which meant infinitely! Then Jesus told them a parable of the king settling account with his servants and forgave the colossal amount of debt of one servant who begged for mercy. But that servant went out and persecuted another servant (who owed him a small sum of money) regardless of him begging for mercy. The king heard about this and put the unforgiving servant in jail. The king said to him,
“You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?”
Then Jesus summed this up with a serious statement, “So my heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” (Matthew 18:35)
Jesus was referring to the way our heart bear grudges on those who owe us money (or a rightful return of favor etc.) and have not repaid! Jesus wants us to forgive debts mean let go, leave, remit the debts. Not only that we are asked to give up resentment against our debtors!
From this parable it is clear that God has taken the initiative first to have forgiven us and given us a clean slate, a clean bill of health, a fresh start in life etc. His intention for us is good. He does not want us to continue bearing the burden of anger and resentment and hurt over the losses others had inflicted upon us.
Indeed we have a legitimate right over our property. But Jesus is not talking about legitimate right here. Who has more legitimate right than Jesus did? Yet He went up the cross without declaring His right to be acquitted.
It is not that God will retract His forgiveness; it is that we cannot enjoy the abundant and free life He has promised to us through the forgiveness if we continue to carry the hurt of our past. So Jesus advised us to give it all up. The past is past.
My application: I still cannot cancel the larger monetary debts that others owe to me although I have relinquished all the favor debt. I ponder on whether it is appropriate to bargain with God that if He wants me to cancel the colossal sum others owe me; I must see a similar large sum of income coming from another source. So in this application I fail. As for the resentment I bear against my debtors, I guess I am still bearing grudges toward one godless person who went into hiding and his relatives claimed that he had become a devout Buddhist (so he needs not repay all his creditors). I have forgotten the person for years but once in a while when others mention that religion I tend to associate it with that debtor. So I am not doing well in that corner of the heart. On the other hand, that person does not share the same faith as I, so he cannot qualify as a brother (in Christ)!
(I have forgiven all Christian brothers of all monetary debts, in my heart, I believe. In daily living, however, I still expect that one day the bigger debts can be repaid. Sigh.)
AAA Jack
March 13, 2009

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: NO OTHER VISION EXCEPT ONE

Jack was so accustomed to seeing a number of visions that he thought seeing one was unusual. Today he thus recorded, “Read Psalms 1-10. Shoulder pain: asked for healing. Saw Jesus holding a fig cake (paste, as in Isaiah?) No other vision.”

Nevertheless, he went on and read Psalms and pondered on a number of questions pertaining to his present life. He asked:

1. What advice should I give to others in this pres
ent economic crisis?
2. Why must I continue to live in the world system?
3. How to prepare for end time?
He pondered on the possibility and practicality to buy a plot of land to build a self-sustaining farm and a sanctuary (a safe place to live, worship, prayer, retreat and training) for his family and people of the same mind and Spirit. He was thinking of organic living and a retired home.

He also listed the foreseeable limitations to overcome: No experience. Lack knowledge. Physical limitations. Too used to city comfort. Workers (trustworthy issues). Security and safety issues. Finance matters. Age issues.

Reading Psalm 8 lifted his spirit. He noted, “We have dominion over the works of our hands. He put all things under our feet, domestic animals, wild beasts, poultry and fishes (that pass through the paths of the sea).”
The sea has paths (like land)! He marveled. This was new to him. He realized how little he knew about God’s works.

Hearing from God- fig cake
I had terrible shoulder pain so I asked Jesus to heal me. As I lied on the floor face down, I saw the following picture: Jesus holding a fig cake in His hand. I recalled the verses from Isaiah about how the prophet was sent to heal the king Hezekiah and he made a fig paste. The king was healed.

After that I did not see any further picture so I got up and found that my shoulder pain had subsided.

March 12, 2009

CHAPTER TWELEVE: HEALING A BALD LAMB

Jack continued to progress spiritually under the tutorship of the Holy Spirit. This was the beginning of his faith to the God who heals. “I am the Lord who heals you.” He continued to read Psalms (chapters 58-67) and interceded for the nation. God was revealing more and more of Himself and His mighty power as Jack sought after Him.

Hearing from God – healing a lamb

Today my back was hurting badly (old injury) and I saw and experienced the following:

1. Jesus held an apple in His left hand.

2. In His right hand He carried a lamb (indeterminable age) which was bold (without any wool), dirty with mud all over, and wounded. He touched the lamb and appeared to be mending or binding the wounds and broken parts (leg? Body? I could not see clearly the parts).

I was kneeling when I saw this so I took out an exercise mat and bowed down. Then I felt I needed to lie down with my face down (as the sick did in the Prayers House). I lied there for sometime, not feeling anything physically. I continued to focus on seeing Jesus.

3. Then I saw Jesus released the lamb and it became a white fluffy, healthy and lively little lamb. It hopped onto green pasture on a hillside and ran off joyously!
I recalled to my mind that Jesus is the great Shepherd. He is the Healer too!
So I gave thanks to Him and got up. My backache has subsided.

AAA Jack
2009-03-11