2024 how not to grieve over a devastating tearing asunder and loss of a beloved?

 In the utmost sorrow and chaos inside out, spirit, soul and body, how does one stay sane and live on at least from day to day, eating and sleeping, halting the mind and the heart from a repeated constant reprise? It was impossible. Without God's grace and mercy and the immense working of the Holy Spirit, I could not have lived through the grief. I am still in its process and a work-in-process of a survivor of grief. 

A day before the fateful departure, at my urgent call, a closed relative of mine who loves her too drove seven hours to see us. She stood by the bedside and prayed in tongue until she heard from the Lord and saw vision. After that I walked her to the gate. I didn't want to hear what she had to say from the Lord. Prior to that she already told me her prompting from the Lord the moment I called her. It was the first time she knew of the condition. This was the verse she received for me:

Ecclesiastes 3 Everything Has Its Time

1 To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven:

2 A time to be born,

And a time to die;

A time to plant,

And a time to pluck what is planted;

3 A time to kill,

And a time to heal;

A time to break down,

And a time to build up;

4 A time to weep,

And a time to laugh;

A time to mourn,

And a time to dance;

However, I needed to hear and know what the Lord had again spoken and revealed for me. She told me at the gate what she received: a first vision of the beloved standing on a line between two groups on each side of the line. On one side was a group of those who have gone to heaven (her mom, brethren whom she had helped etc.) On another side a group of all those who wants her remain on earth to continue to help them. Both sides were crying out. 

The Lord said: "She can choose either way."

a second vision: a beautiful garden full of lovely sunshine and flowers.

a third vision:  of the beloved walking by herself and only her back view was shown. She was already walking real far along a calm and peaceful road. 

The above vision and hearing from the Lord confirmed what this narrator received earlier on one day after asking the Lord what next. "She can live as long as she wants to."

She did not tell anyone her choice. No one can assume anything. Only the Lord sees our hearts and knows. For a believers who follow the Lord and walks with Jesus closely, we have an example in the apostle Paul. 

Romans 14:7-8

7 For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.

2024-01-17

2024 Jan 17 how to draw a line between the spiritual and the physical?

2024 JAN 17 PROLOGUE: I assumed that life would be all sunshine and blue sky. That was to be the story of my life. And that would always be. Pure assumption. It did not happen. My earth world came crashing down over a decade ago. I had to part with a partner (of twenty years). I thought we could still remain best forever friend for the rest of our lives, mine at least, as I am 15 years her senior. It turned out to be a wistful thinking on my part. The truth caught up in the last two years. And the curtain closed forever on earth for our “partnership-friendship”. She left with Jesus on 2023-12-26 5am. 

Grief: I am not prepared and I cannot accept. I cannot imagine anyone prepared for grief. Human are not meant to grieve. How can anyone know grief until it hits like an avalanche? 

JANUARY 15, 2024 HELPER10 WORDS OF THOUGHTS AND SPIRIT EDIT "CROSSING OVER TO 2024"

crossing over to 2024

A LIFE AND A DEATH

A death in 2023 made it the most difficult year to cross. All words had fled. All colors faded before their time. Towards the end of December the world died. A heart was torn into two and the torn half left so suddenly that there was no time to weep goodbye. In fact 2023 was the impossible year to cross.

And today is the 21st day after that 5am fateful morning. What is 21 days compared to the 11,315 days of being together? Nothing.

And yet, 21 days mean that 1,814,400 seconds had ticked through. How did that happen? There is no explanation except for the supernatural grace (unmerited favor) and mercy of God, Who enables every dawn’s waking at 3am finding oneself in the midst of the living and is still a living being. With God, all things are possible.

The fact is: regardless of questions like, what is the good of being left behind in the land of the living when all its meaning seems to have departed, being alive on earth is a fact to live with day by day over which one is given a responsibility. A believer of God, the Creator and Origin of life, cannot choose to stay or leave unless God has given that option.

So the next question is, what shall I do for the rest of my life on earth, in particular, 2024? The reluctant earth man (in truth a spiritual man) asks God. What next?

Waiting is not possible when there is no certainty of an answer. What if the answer is broadcasted and I miss tuning to the right frequency? What if it comes in a still small voice and the wind that weeps through the leaves is too loud for me to differentiate and discern? What if it comes in a dream and I forget the moment I wake? What if I miss the 3-5am rendezvous on the particular day it comes? There are many “what ifs”. Yet I wait.

At one time one could imagine that time was a bird of no particular consequence gliding slowly passing by my window as I chanced to look outside through a veil dimly. Looking back the last decade I now hear the thundering sound of urgency for redeeming time.

A summary of a decade (of somewhat oblivion on the part of this blogger): 2012 prelude: a decision was made to each pursue a called direction and the way therein. 2013: A harsh tearing asunder legalistic way. 2014: Finally heeded (after three prophetic utterances) and left reluctantly for a strange land in a strange writing mission. 2015: Continued writing with travel to new land. 2016: the same with variation. 2017-2018 Heeded to the call to study academically about God. 2019-2020 making it to full time study on the snow mountain city above the clouds. 2021: returned to a new land and solitude. 2022: Reconciliation and restoration.  2023: Full restoration towards the end. And then an earth life departed just a few days before the year 2023 departed. And seemingly chaos started afresh when crossing over to 2024…

A devastating regret (for me in hind sight): Choosing a passive andante in earth life, spiritually oblivious that the other half was encountering a sudden onslaught by violent turbulent storm apparently too severe for her delicate frame. “You might not listen, or you could react immediately without thinking through, and not asking the Holy Spirit for direction. As for me, I’d rather stay in the supernatural peace of Jesus and follow His guidance step by step.” She said this to me, too late (?) or perhaps I never really listened until then.

How to describe someone who is like the psalmist in Psalm 1 (her all time favorite to the end), so firmly, deeply grounded and rooted (planted by God) by the stream of living water, walking so close to the Lord that beautiful flowers bloomed, lovely fruits birthed so naturally from her in all seasons, and healing leaves remaining lush and green, and forever whole and young in spirit, soul and body?

2024-01-17

This hope we hold as the utterly reliable anchor for our souls

Hebrews 6:9-20

J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)

We want you to make God’s promise real through your faith, hope and patience

^9-12 But although we give these words of warning we feel sure that you, whom we love, are capable of better things and will enjoy the full experience of salvation. God is not unfair: he will not lose sight of all that you have done nor of the loving labour which you have shown for his sake in looking after fellow-Christians (as you are still doing). It is our earnest wish that every one of you should show a similar keenness in fully grasping the hope that is within you. We do not want any of you to grow slack, but to follow the example of those who through sheer patient faith came to possess the promises.
^13-15 When God made his promise to Abraham he swore by himself, for there was no one greater by whom he could swear, and he said: ‘Surely blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply you’. And then Abraham, after patient endurance, found the promise true.
^16-20 Among men it is customary to swear by something greater than themselves. And if a statement is confirmed by an oath, that is the end of all quibbling. So in this matter, God, wishing to show beyond doubt that his plan was unchangeable, confirmed it with an oath. So that by two utterly immutable things, the word of God and the oath of God, who cannot lie, we who are refugees from this dying world might have a source of strength, and might grasp the hope that he holds out to us. This hope we hold as the utterly reliable anchor for our souls, fixed in the very certainty of God himself in Heaven, where Jesus has already entered on our behalf, having become, as we have seen, “High Priest for ever after the order of Melchizedek”.

J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS) J. B. Phillips, "The New Testament in Modern English", 1962 edition by HarperCollins