CHAPTER FIFTEEN: SEEING GOD IN MY HEART

After a spate of seeing God in visions, Jack went back to reading and focusing on the words of God, the Bible. Indeed, the Word of God is life and Spirit.
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Journal Day 18: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven…put your heart in the right place!

Matthew 6: 19-21 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth…but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven…for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Again I am reminded of my heart today. In the past when I read this passage I always thought it meant I needed to donate more money or make less money and spend more time serving in the church etc. Over the years as a Christian, I had indeed tried to comply with this requirement. I enjoyed such activities for a long time. Yes, I enjoyed giving freely, chauffeuring neighborhood children to Sunday school and church camps, forgoing all comforts (washing church toilets, sleeping on hard wooden floor in hot stuffy mosquito infested rooms with no air-conditioning in camps), teaching and training young and old believers, serving God’s people in a number of roles voluntarily.

Yet, however much I thought I gave or served, there was no way I could match the righteousness of the religious Jews in Jesus’ time. So where do I stand in God’s kingdom? What hope do I have serving God even through my best efforts? Not a bit.
Man tends to look and focus at self because it is a survival instinct. It is also because of ignorance. We look at the world which has us at the center. We even look at God that way. For example, previously when I read what Jesus said in the Gospel of Matthew, I thought of God being a God who asked me to do this and do that or not to do a lot of things.

Thank God for changing my perspective. I now realize that Jesus is concerned with the condition of my heart. Yesterday I touched on the issue of debt cancellation. It was not the physical cancellation that Jesus was interested. He was more concerned with the state of my heart. Is it still harboring hurt as a result of loss? Is my heart not being free to trust and love again? Is my heart filled with doubt and anxiety? Is my heart full of worries and heavy burdens? In short, is my heart filled with unbelief?

Today I am again reminded to put my heart in the right place. Anchor my heart on the solid rock of Jesus and His kingdom of heaven!
Again and again Jesus is saying, “Look away from yourself, look at Me!” “Look away from your things, look at My things!”

Indeed, when I start looking at Jesus and the grace (undeserved favor) of God, I realize that the matter of the heart is what counts.
“Christ in us, the hope of glory!”

My application: I am determined to put my heart at the right place. Jesus said, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) By Jesus’ authority, I cast out the workaholic spirit in me!

AAA Jack
2009-03-14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: A CROWN VISION

As Jack waited upon the Lord to receive instructions to pray for the churches, he was led to read Jeremiah 1-3.

The words were picturesque, depicting the deplorable scenes of the churches in the land. God rebuked Israel for two evils: having forsaken God, the true fountain of living water, and hewn themselves cisterns, broken cisterns which could hold no water. Dry religion without the Holy Spirit, no light, cannot see, cannot hear, deafened by their own noises, blinded by worldly vanity in numbers. God had left and the priests did not know. The prophets (preachers) prophesied by false gods and walked after ‘things’ that did not profit. Those who handled the law (of God) did not know the law. God said of these churches: “and you have not obeyed My voice”. A most frightening sin！

It is possible for churches who seek after God to hear God! He also read that God wants repentance with whole heart. God is willing to forgive their backsliding.
As recorded in the following vision, he saw the Lord as the King in all His glory!
On the other hand, Jack was still not able to reconcile what he saw with his concern for his daily living, as evidenced in his following journal on the same day on debt issues.

Vision: Hearing from God- seeing the crowned King

Today I had nothing to ask for but I decided to prostrate on the floor after I completed my Friday morning intercession for the city churches. Then I saw the following pictures:
A little toddler crawled towards the left foot of Jesus and there was a little whit butterfly hovering near by.
Then I saw Jesus wearing a crown (that of a king). I recalled the verses declaring Him as the King.
I do not know what these mean. I must not interpret when I have no guidance from the Lord (His Word). I merely record this for future reference as led by the Spirit. Time will tell if there is anything of significance. However, as written before, these pictures are my way of interacting with the Lord for my personal living and are not prophecies or any words of importance to others.
I find myself hindered by being too preoccupied with the mind and the knowledge accumulated therein. In spiritual matters I am an infant. So this visualization training is my daily “spiritual” exercise. Why do I do this (seemingly unnecessary pastime)? For the one reason that God is Spirit and I need to worship Him in truth and in Spirit. Being spiritual is essential. There is no option for me.

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Journal Day 16-17: and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors
I have now reached the application of the Lord’s Prayer. I am trying to follow this verse, Matthew 6:12 “and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.”
It is obvious how relevant this verse has become in the current financial dilemma. People are being overloaded with the mountain of debt. Every one, every nation cries out for deliverance from the debt bondage! I have not come across any one who does not wish his or her debt to be cancelled or fully paid by someone.
When Jesus said this to His disciples, what did He mean? Was He imposing a condition on them that they must perform before God gives His pardon? Who can pay for our debt of sins? Not us. The good news is Jesus has paid in full on the cross when He died for us.
Reading the cross reference to this verse, in Mathew 18:21-35, the meaning became clearer. The disciple Peter came and asked Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother (other followers of Jesus). Jesus stipulated an impossible number of times (70x7 times) which meant infinitely! Then Jesus told them a parable of the king settling account with his servants and forgave the colossal amount of debt of one servant who begged for mercy. But that servant went out and persecuted another servant (who owed him a small sum of money) regardless of him begging for mercy. The king heard about this and put the unforgiving servant in jail. The king said to him,
“You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?”
Then Jesus summed this up with a serious statement, “So my heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” (Matthew 18:35)
Jesus was referring to the way our heart bear grudges on those who owe us money (or a rightful return of favor etc.) and have not repaid! Jesus wants us to forgive debts mean let go, leave, remit the debts. Not only that we are asked to give up resentment against our debtors!
From this parable it is clear that God has taken the initiative first to have forgiven us and given us a clean slate, a clean bill of health, a fresh start in life etc. His intention for us is good. He does not want us to continue bearing the burden of anger and resentment and hurt over the losses others had inflicted upon us.
Indeed we have a legitimate right over our property. But Jesus is not talking about legitimate right here. Who has more legitimate right than Jesus did? Yet He went up the cross without declaring His right to be acquitted.
It is not that God will retract His forgiveness; it is that we cannot enjoy the abundant and free life He has promised to us through the forgiveness if we continue to carry the hurt of our past. So Jesus advised us to give it all up. The past is past.
My application: I still cannot cancel the larger monetary debts that others owe to me although I have relinquished all the favor debt. I ponder on whether it is appropriate to bargain with God that if He wants me to cancel the colossal sum others owe me; I must see a similar large sum of income coming from another source. So in this application I fail. As for the resentment I bear against my debtors, I guess I am still bearing grudges toward one godless person who went into hiding and his relatives claimed that he had become a devout Buddhist (so he needs not repay all his creditors). I have forgotten the person for years but once in a while when others mention that religion I tend to associate it with that debtor. So I am not doing well in that corner of the heart. On the other hand, that person does not share the same faith as I, so he cannot qualify as a brother (in Christ)!
(I have forgiven all Christian brothers of all monetary debts, in my heart, I believe. In daily living, however, I still expect that one day the bigger debts can be repaid. Sigh.)
AAA Jack
March 13, 2009

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: NO OTHER VISION EXCEPT ONE

Jack was so accustomed to seeing a number of visions that he thought seeing one was unusual. Today he thus recorded, “Read Psalms 1-10. Shoulder pain: asked for healing. Saw Jesus holding a fig cake (paste, as in Isaiah?) No other vision.”

Nevertheless, he went on and read Psalms and pondered on a number of questions pertaining to his present life. He asked:

1. What advice should I give to others in this pres
ent economic crisis?
2. Why must I continue to live in the world system?
3. How to prepare for end time?
He pondered on the possibility and practicality to buy a plot of land to build a self-sustaining farm and a sanctuary (a safe place to live, worship, prayer, retreat and training) for his family and people of the same mind and Spirit. He was thinking of organic living and a retired home.

He also listed the foreseeable limitations to overcome: No experience. Lack knowledge. Physical limitations. Too used to city comfort. Workers (trustworthy issues). Security and safety issues. Finance matters. Age issues.

Reading Psalm 8 lifted his spirit. He noted, “We have dominion over the works of our hands. He put all things under our feet, domestic animals, wild beasts, poultry and fishes (that pass through the paths of the sea).”
The sea has paths (like land)! He marveled. This was new to him. He realized how little he knew about God’s works.

Hearing from God- fig cake
I had terrible shoulder pain so I asked Jesus to heal me. As I lied on the floor face down, I saw the following picture: Jesus holding a fig cake in His hand. I recalled the verses from Isaiah about how the prophet was sent to heal the king Hezekiah and he made a fig paste. The king was healed.

After that I did not see any further picture so I got up and found that my shoulder pain had subsided.

March 12, 2009

CHAPTER TWELEVE: HEALING A BALD LAMB

Jack continued to progress spiritually under the tutorship of the Holy Spirit. This was the beginning of his faith to the God who heals. “I am the Lord who heals you.” He continued to read Psalms (chapters 58-67) and interceded for the nation. God was revealing more and more of Himself and His mighty power as Jack sought after Him.

Hearing from God – healing a lamb

Today my back was hurting badly (old injury) and I saw and experienced the following:

1. Jesus held an apple in His left hand.

2. In His right hand He carried a lamb (indeterminable age) which was bold (without any wool), dirty with mud all over, and wounded. He touched the lamb and appeared to be mending or binding the wounds and broken parts (leg? Body? I could not see clearly the parts).

I was kneeling when I saw this so I took out an exercise mat and bowed down. Then I felt I needed to lie down with my face down (as the sick did in the Prayers House). I lied there for sometime, not feeling anything physically. I continued to focus on seeing Jesus.

3. Then I saw Jesus released the lamb and it became a white fluffy, healthy and lively little lamb. It hopped onto green pasture on a hillside and ran off joyously!
I recalled to my mind that Jesus is the great Shepherd. He is the Healer too!
So I gave thanks to Him and got up. My backache has subsided.

AAA Jack
2009-03-11

chapter eleven: seeing God, hearing His words

After the first breakthrough Jack began to see pictures/visions often when he sought God in the early morning on his own. He often woke before the alarm rang. He sometimes woke way before, an hour or two, the alarm was supposed to ring! He tried to interpret such pictures at times. When he though he got the clear message, he would pray over it. For example, when he saw his loved ones in an unusual situation, he would pray for the situation to clear and the problem resolved. He also became quite excited as it was like the Bible coming to life and he could now ask God to show him things to come. He got up every morning with eagerness to see or receive personal messages from God.

He recorded the following visions in his journal on March 10, 2009.

Hearing from God –golden field with one worker
Everyday I spent time before God and asked Him to show me what to pray for or what to attend to. So far I have seen a number of pictures, some of which reminded me of verses I have read before. I could understand some as the meaning was clear and supported by immediate recall of verses. But I could not figure out some. So I have decided to record down all or as many as I recall the pictures that I saw daily when waiting upon the Lord in the early morning. This morning I woke around 3am and worshipped God. I saw the following vision:

1. Jesus put His hand into muddy water. I could not see whether the water was in a river but I thought it was.

2. A living spring or brook with clear, clean water. I could see the pebbles underneath the water in the river bed.

3. Fruit trees bearing fruits by the river side. I did not exactly see them clearly but in my mind I was reminded of the trees which bear fruits and leaves with healing faculties.

4. Jesus holding a bowl which He had emptied (through a pouring motion), green shoots in the ground, followed by grown wheat plants in the midst of thorns and thistles. I was reminded of the verses about the enemy sowing bad seeds at night among the good seeds that God had planted. On harvest day the bad plants (weeds, thorns etc.) will be gathered and burned by the angel of God. The good ones will be gathered unto God.

5. A vast field of golden wheat and only one man/worker stooping down cutting the wheat. I was reminded of Jesus saying the harvest is plenty and workers are few, and that we are to pray for God to send more workers to harvest the ready field.

Praying for the nation
While praying for the nation, he was led by the Holy Spirit to see and read the following words from the Book of Psalms (reading from 53-57):

55: 9-23: “Destroy, o Lord, and divide their tongues” Next to this, he wrote: ‘_________’(the name of the ruling party) – NIMROD? “For I have seen violence and strife in the city”, iniquity and trouble, destruction, oppression and deceit, broken covenant, smooth words with war at heart (drawn swords), bloodthirsty and deceitful men. Jack saw that the verses aptly described the situation of the country.

He did not know its spiritual link yet. Months later when he attended a series of spiritual lessons given by a master who had spent nearly two decades studying the spiritual matters and the history of the land, Jack discovered that what the Holy Spirit had prompted him to pray for were indeed the situation as reflected in the verses and they were linked to the blood shade, violence, gangsters, piracy, and secret societies background of the founding masters of the land!

However, he was positive in his one line summary of Psalm 57, “As David saw the troubles he was in, he exalted God. Caught in between two types of dangers, direct attacks by weapons and secret snarls, David praised God. Clue to success!”

Jack also saw another truth, the reason why people could not see or hear God was because of their rebellious and defiant hearts against God. Even a donkey could see the angel with drawn sword by the road side, but the prophet Balaam who loved money more than God could not see.

CHAPTER ELEVEN: SEEING GOD, HEARING GOD'S WORDS

After the first breakthrough Jack began to see pictures/visions often when he sought God in the early morning on his own. He often woke before the alarm rang. He sometimes woke way before, an hour or two, the alarm was supposed to ring! He tried to interpret such pictures at times. When he though he got the clear message, he would pray over it. For example, when he saw his loved ones in an unusual situation, he would pray for the situation to clear and the problem resolved. He also became quite excited as it was like the Bible coming to life and he could now ask God to show him things to come. He got up every morning with eagerness to see or receive personal messages from God.

Hearing from God –golden field with one worker

Everyday I spent time before God and asked Him to show me what to pray for or what to attend to. So far I have seen a number of pictures, some of which reminded me of verses I have read before. I could understand some as the meaning was clear and supported by immediate recall of verses. But I could not figure out some. So I have decided to record down all or as many as I recall the pictures that I saw daily when waiting upon the Lord in the early morning. This morning I woke around 3am and worshipped God. I saw the following vision:

1. Jesus put His hand into muddy water. I could not see whether the water was in a river but I thought it was.
2. A living spring or brook with clear, clean water. I could see the pebbles underneath the water in the river bed.
3. Fruit trees bearing fruits by the river side. I did not exactly see them clearly but in my mind I was reminded of the trees which bear fruits and leaves with healing faculties.
4. Jesus holding a bowl which He had emptied (through a pouring motion), green shoots in the ground, followed by grown wheat plants in the midst of thorns and thistles. I was reminded of the verses about the enemy sowing bad seeds at night among the good seeds that God had planted. On harvest day the bad plants (weeds, thorns etc.) will be gathered and burned by the angel of God. The good ones will be gathered unto God.
5. A vast field of golden wheat and only one man/worker stooping down cutting the wheat. I was reminded of Jesus saying the harvest is plenty and workers are few, and that we are to pray for God to send more workers to harvest the ready field.
Praying for the nation

While praying for the nation, he was led by the Holy Spirit to see and read the following words from the Book of Psalms (reading from 53-57):
55: 9-23: “Destroy, o Lord, and divide their tongues” Next to this, he wrote: ‘_________’(the name of the ruling party) – NIMROD? “For I have seen violence and strife in the city”, iniquity and trouble, destruction, oppression and deceit, broken covenant, smooth words with war at heart (drawn swords), bloodthirsty and deceitful men. Jack saw that the verses aptly described the situation of the country.

He did not know its spiritual link yet. Months later when he attended a series of spiritual lessons given by a master who had spent nearly two decades studying the spiritual matters and the history of the land, Jack discovered that what the Holy Spirit had prompted him to pray for were indeed the situation as reflected in the verses and they were linked to the blood shade, violence, gangsters, piracy, and secret societies background of the founding masters of the land!

However, he was positive in his one line summary of Psalm 57, “As David saw the troubles he was in, he exalted God. Caught in between two types of dangers, direct attacks by weapons and secret snarls, David praised God. Clue to success!”
Jack also saw another truth, the reason why people could not see or hear God was because of their rebellious and defiant hearts against God. Even a donkey could see the angel with drawn sword by the road side, but the prophet Balaam who loved money more than God could not see.

March 10, 2009

CHAPTER TEN: SEEING IN THE HOLY SPIRIT

Although Jack was still unsure of the application part, he was making positive spiritual progress in heeding to the Holy Spirit. He continued to spend time in the presence of God and began to see visions often during worship. He also reviewed his personal goals. When he first started this spiritual journey of intercessions he merely wanted to perform a religious duty for the church. However, the quest transformed him as he sought God. The Holy Spirit had led him to seek after God so that he could know God more.
Hearing from God 2 –seeing pictures
I continued to seek God in the morning regardless of my inability to get up on time. I managed to wake around 5 am but have indulged in lingering in bed until 6 am and got up around 6.15 am. (Sigh)
Anyway, I persisted in my ritual which had gone on for about a month. I focused on my goals which are to know God more and hear from Him or see visions He wants me to see. I normally started with reading the wordings of one or two praise and worship songs as I forgot how to sing the tune. After that I prayed. During the last three days I had run out of things about the city to pray for, so I asked God to show me. Yesterday being a Lord’s Day, I prayed for my church and the way the last two Holy Communions was conducted. The respective elder who conducted the communion was so distracted by the last song sung that both of them forgot to mention the blood and the body of Christ! These went on for two consecutive weeks! I prayed that this omission would not happen this week. However I did not manage to attend yesterday as I had to accompany my wife to a medical equipment store to buy stuff for her invalid father.
I believe that worship and praise songs should more focus on the Lord and not on us. According to the Bible, the Holy Communion should focus on what Jesus had done and not what we shall do for Him!
If we want to talk about ourselves, we need not do that in church. We can go to a social function and talk as much as we like. A church is meant for worship and praise and minister to God.
A social function can minister to all else.
Besides praying for the city/church, I prayed for revelation for me from the Lord. Waiting for response I kept my eyes closed and focused. I shall try to record below what I saw during the last two days.
Yesterday: I saw Jesus (as perceived by me) holding something, like rulers (?), and then the verse “enter into my rest” came into my mind. Then I saw myself kneeling down on a flight of steps. The steps led to a throne on which the Lord was sitting. At first I thought I was alone so I cried out and was worried (not knowing it was a good or bad sign). Then I saw a great multitude of people similarly kneeling down in front of the Lord. Countless number of people were bowing before the Lord, worshipping Him /praying.
Last night: I went to the Prayers House to worship the Lord and during worship I knelt down and held out my palms. I saw Jesus holding a bag full of something with their ends sticking out and they were made of feathers. I thought they were arrows. Then Jesus put one in my right palm. It turned out to be a quill pen. He also put something in my left palm. They were gold. But I had no verses entering my mind so I could not interpret this vision.
Today: this morning I saw Jesus with an open scroll, full of small prints. He was talking and pointing to the words with an angel. I could not see the angel but in my mind I thought there was an angel and Jesus was instructing him.
Then I saw a tall Mongolian or Eastern European costumed warrior, with a battle axe in his hand. After that there was a giant holding a whip (as in a circus) with his upper torso bare. But there was no lion or tiger around. The word “chastisement” entered my mind.
Then Jesus pointed to a box full of black seeds. Verses came to my mind about the enemy (devil) sowing tares among the good seeds (wheat) that God has planted and the Lord let them grow until the harvest by which time the angels will gather the tares and burn them. (Matt.13: 14-30)
After that I saw a very small Chinese boy (in traditional costume) kneeling down, praying in an empty court yard. Some chicken were pecking the ground and an eagle rising and soaring from their midst into the sky above.
What does all this mean? I have no verses. I just record them and wait.
AAA Jack
9-Mar-09